What should I be doing right now? That’s usually the voice of someone else telling me what to do. That voice could be someone close to me like my children. “You should let us eat sugar all day.” Or it could be the voice from the television, “You should drive a BMW so you can look powerful.” Perhaps it’s the voice of Sassy magazine from when I was sixteen: “You should have a gap between your thighs.”
I’ve decided I’m not going to listen to should thoughts.
I will decide what to do and tune out everyone else.
Supposed to… means my inner voice is creating a self imposed limitation. This could be something good, like guilt over the fact that I am supposed to be eating more vegetables, or exercising more, or eating less sugar. But “supposed to” also means that I am usually not forgiving myself, not showing enough compassion for being human, for making mistakes, for being short on time, or for not doing things because I decided to spend time with my kids.
I was supposed to fold all that laundry but instead, as a family, we went to the beach and ate bagels, and threw a ball, and climbed rocks, and looked at animals, and took a hike. Supposed to can make you feel bad even after making the right decision.