Today, as I sat I was reading my emails I came across one from a blogger that I follow. Her question to all her email subscribers was: What is your biggest challenge right now?
I felt compelled to reply. I had so many thoughts and questions swirling in my head. As I composed my answer I tried to write as succinctly as possible. Surely a blogger who sends out a major question to all her subscribers does not have all day to linger on a wordy response.
I came up with this question: “Why, if I have the dream to be a writer, have I resisted putting words to screen?”
As I sat staring at this question, I realized why trying to write succinctly was not working. The question was true there was so much more to it. Suddenly all the emotions that surrounded my lack of effort flooded to the surface.
Events from my past had made me fear loss of income. Therefore, rather than writing wasn’t I supposed to be spending all my free time searching for a job? Networking? Connecting with people via social media? Doing something, anything to boost my career and make me marketable? Of course I have applied for jobs, yet I was not spending all my free time trying to make employment possible.
Then there was also the uncertain future. I envisioned a possible future where I had no job and no money to pay my bills and I still was not writing. In yet another possible future I write but cannot make any money and still cannot pay bills. In another I have a boring job where I come home too tired to write. And in yet another future I am wildly successful as a writer and living in a large house on the ocean.
All of it was scary. Even the possibility of success was frightening.
Then I realized: I have the present. What was the most productive thing to do in the present moment?
I began typing,
It was so simple.
The past can haunt you. The future is unknown. But the present is a gift. It’s a moment where you can change the trajectory of the future. The present is where you can place your fingers on the keyboard and type.